Thunderstorms

You look so little there, as if you shrank while the world grew larger. I don’t know what to say to you, you might take things the wrong way. The world is a bigger place now, full of terrible happenings caused by cruel people, and I can’t shield you from that anymore. Someone like you shouldn’t know this yet. The world is supposed to be an exciting world of vibrant colors and emotions, not captured in the harsh black and white of reality.


It's quarter after midnight and I sit here, wondering if you know exactly what happened to you. If you know that your world is upside down now. If you know what’s in the letter addressed to me. Underneath three blankets you still shiver; unknown demons haunting your subconscious. It shouldn’t have happened, none of it should have. The cruel occurrences of the world have no right to steal the innocence of a child, but it does. It certainly does. And I don’t know how to bring it back.


It’s six in the morning, and I haven’t slept all night. Your future plagues me, stealing all peace and fortitude I once had. Your insides are shattered and all the adhesive in the world could never repair the damage. How am I supposed to help you? How can I even attempt to fix and heal your damaged heart? I can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t know how to make that haunted look in your eyes go away, I don’t think I can. I don’t know how to restore the hope and light you once had.


They say that therapy will help you, that it will help you come to terms with what happened. I’m not so sure. I’m not sure that you can accept it, not all the way. You can say you did and pretend, but when you walk down the street and see someone who looks like him, the pain is still there. Every time you meet a man, you’ll be frightened for a long time. The trust you once placed in men is now lost forever. An abuse like this leaves its scars and no one, not even me, can make them disappear.


I don’t know how to fix things, and I’m sure you don’t want me to try, but I know what I can do. I know I can always be there for you. Hold your hand when you’re scared, cry for you when you’re sad, try and soothe your aching heart in moments of despair. That’s what I can do. Its not much, but I hope that perhaps someday, I’ll be able to teach you that life isn’t all thunderstorms of hurt , but that only after the storm has passed, can the sun shine brightly again. And that’s what you have to look forward to.

--Tacey