Windows

Semi translucent moths flutter in twilight, along the border of reality
Images in the windows, clandestine whispers following close behind.
Silent divulgences hang in the air, hollow chords from cloistered ghost
He sits at his computer, quoting Jack Kerouac and wonders what the world hasn't shown him

Big Bang

The sun is melting in the sky

It drips into the blue iridescence

And swirls into the green existence of earth

The stars have burned the universe

Turning into psychedelic spearheads

Of twisted nightlights.

The moon has frozen in space

Becoming a spill of quicksilver

In black velvet

The earth stopped spinning,

To look at it’s self in the aftermath

Of an apocalypse

The sun is melting in the sky,

Dripping into the blue iridescence

Swirling into green existence.

Big Bang

Realizations

I realize I haven't posted anything on here for quite a while. I didn't think anything of it until now. Just recently it was pointed out that most of my writing has been directed internally, dealing with internal pressures within myself or with watching others go through specific experiences. This however, is going to change. Until then, I will not be posting anything on here, for fear it all sounds the same in the beginning. I realize that's not a big surprise, considering the small handful of people who read this, but all the same, it's better to ask forgiveness than ask permission.

Once my focus has been redirected, I assure you, there will be plenty of posts up here. Until then, farewell.

However, I may post pictures of items I make in my spare time and bouts of boredom.  Wish me luck.

Random Stuff

EDIT: I am selling these if anyone is interested, they're about 5-7 dollars depending on materials.  If you're interested let me know.

Okay, so I'm kind of a crafty type person and since I've been on a "green" kick lately, I've decided to try recycling stuff into jewelry. What resulted of that would be these wicked cool recycled bangles. And then I started wearing them around school and some people are noticing them. So I've sold a couple and eventually I plan on making a website, since I've not seen anything like these on the internet. (What I mean, is that these bracelets are just different, you can find some, but I've yet to see ones exactly like mine on the internet. I'm not saying they're not out there, I just haven't found them yet.) 

So. . . I figured I'd put up some pictures and see what you guys think. (Assuming people ready my blog thingie anyway)

Anywho, Happy Spring

Thunderstorms

You look so little there, as if you shrank while the world grew larger. I don’t know what to say to you, you might take things the wrong way. The world is a bigger place now, full of terrible happenings caused by cruel people, and I can’t shield you from that anymore. Someone like you shouldn’t know this yet. The world is supposed to be an exciting world of vibrant colors and emotions, not captured in the harsh black and white of reality.


It's quarter after midnight and I sit here, wondering if you know exactly what happened to you. If you know that your world is upside down now. If you know what’s in the letter addressed to me. Underneath three blankets you still shiver; unknown demons haunting your subconscious. It shouldn’t have happened, none of it should have. The cruel occurrences of the world have no right to steal the innocence of a child, but it does. It certainly does. And I don’t know how to bring it back.


It’s six in the morning, and I haven’t slept all night. Your future plagues me, stealing all peace and fortitude I once had. Your insides are shattered and all the adhesive in the world could never repair the damage. How am I supposed to help you? How can I even attempt to fix and heal your damaged heart? I can’t. I don’t know how. I don’t know how to make that haunted look in your eyes go away, I don’t think I can. I don’t know how to restore the hope and light you once had.


They say that therapy will help you, that it will help you come to terms with what happened. I’m not so sure. I’m not sure that you can accept it, not all the way. You can say you did and pretend, but when you walk down the street and see someone who looks like him, the pain is still there. Every time you meet a man, you’ll be frightened for a long time. The trust you once placed in men is now lost forever. An abuse like this leaves its scars and no one, not even me, can make them disappear.


I don’t know how to fix things, and I’m sure you don’t want me to try, but I know what I can do. I know I can always be there for you. Hold your hand when you’re scared, cry for you when you’re sad, try and soothe your aching heart in moments of despair. That’s what I can do. Its not much, but I hope that perhaps someday, I’ll be able to teach you that life isn’t all thunderstorms of hurt , but that only after the storm has passed, can the sun shine brightly again. And that’s what you have to look forward to.

--Tacey

Old Writings

This is just something I wrote almost two years ago, I think. It's relatively old, but I think it still has a valid message


Just when I thought I was safe, it turns out, I was far from it. Safety depends on who you trust, whether they trust you, and how much trust there is between the two of you. But years of experience taught me the worst enemy is inside yourself, taking you apart piece by piece without you ever noticing. Safety was relative, dependent on external factors you can’t control but in order to be able to weather the external factors, you have to defeat the enemy inside. Internal enemies can lie dormant for years, waiting for just the right moment to make an attack. The attacks themselves are small things, usually minor, nothing that would put you over the edge, but at the right time, they’re just the icing on the cake. A big frosted cake with the kind of frosting that‘s so sweet you can only take three bites before feeling slightly ill.


As solid and together as I appeared to be on the outside, I was just as destroyed and broken apart on the inside. Where my heart used to be was now a void that had destroyed every worthwhile emotion. It was almost like lighting a match dropping it in a glass bottle and covering the tip. The flame dies and smoke fills the bottle, only a little at first, but it grows until you can’t see through the bottle because there’s too much smoke. In order to get the smoke out of the bottle you have to uncover the top and fill the bottle with oxygen, it’s the same concept to get rid of the enemy inside. You have to let it consume you, then once the feelings have settled, unlock yourself and let love, acceptance, confidence, and trust slowly replace the roiling emotions inside. It’s not easy and it’s definitely not painless, well, who said being safe meant being impervious to pain? It’s the pain that allows this process to be possible. And without it, I’d probably be six feet under, everything being my fault. And that’s the dangerous truth.

Poetry Time!

A cross sectioned house
Easily seen by all
The dolls inside
Controlled on a childish whim

Yet underneath
The perfect appearance
Hides a darker truth
No one ever sees

At night the tiny house
Comes alive
The dolls inside
Move in a flurry of colors

At night
They live their lives
The way they imagine
Life to be

All the while
Open to the scrutiny
Of the cruel unfeeling world
And yet the world sleeps on

Because in that perfect
Cross sectioned house
Night becomes day
And pretend becomes reality.

Scribbles

Well, to be honest, I don't know why I'm starting this blog. It seems today is full of the average housewives spending their time blogging, that one more blog by some random person surely isn't going to interest anyone.

I won't bother with an introduction, because I'm working under the assumption that anyone reading this blog already knows me, or will rather soon.

I shall simply allow anything I post here to introduce myself in a way mere words could not achieve.